Most people ask about how does it feel to be married. It just sounds to me like a very excessive step to do in life by how people perceive and by the kind of inquiries asked in regards of handling marriage. I was worried in the beginning as when people ask the very first question after getting married, I thought there was something wrong with my answer that was always as flat as a pancake. My answer was around ‘it’s okay, it’s good, it’s nice‘. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still consider getting hitched, especially with Damar, as the best decision I have ever made by far. But, seems like the word ‘marry‘ is by nature a burden for a lot of people. And to be honest, I don’t think it should be seen that way. No doubt that getting married meaning you will spend the rest of your life with this one (supposedly special) person, but the process of selection has passed, decision is made, so being married is about walking the dreams, giving effort in loving each other, being our true self with at the same time, respecting one another. I don’t think getting married should stop doing what you like or start doing something you don’t like, unless we are willing to do it , noted: not only for our spouse but for ourselves. Nothing should be a strain when we do it sincerely with the aim of making the marriage work, again, not for anybody but yourself. Hence, I do not sense any force to abandon something.
It should be each other’s responsibility to put efforts in the process of understanding and actually, I do think discovering something new in the blastoff married phase is very much intriguing. As intriguing as finding out Damar does not like to close something he opens (drawer, tooth paste tube, etc) *eyeroll*. But I told him my dislike for the habit, and he has tried to correct it, no nagging involved! Because I trust him that he is trying. It is absolutely something that needs to be cherished, as the moment of such kind will not necessarily re-occur in the future.
Ok, so I think I know what to answer for the next person who asks me how does it feel to get married, “nothing much change, only everything becomes nicer. Feels good to know I have someone worth going home to” . And plus, I wake up in every morning willing to be a better person, for me, for Damar, for us.
*the above post-wedding pictures were taken during our first Ramadhan together (June, 2016). Our goal is to take capture good moments of two of use and dismiss the opinion that ‘pre-wedding’ picture should only be taken prior to the wedding.