I just looked at my college graduation pictures 4 years ago (thanks to Facebook). And suddenly my times flew back to my younger self. Today, if I was asked what would be a message for my younger, I would definitely give a bunch of advise. I often shook my head looking at some young women around. Then I realized I’d be no different than all of them if only the social media was as crazy as today. Probably people will roll their eyes at me seeing how dramatic I could had been.
Okay so here we go:
You are special and beautiful as you are
I had my moments, a lot of them, back from elementary school-high school, when I felt discomfort with my own skin. There were always issues with my physical appearance. My hair that was wavy and messy, my skin that was fairly dark, my height that was insufficient compared to the kids around my age. In my country, there was this standard of beauty. Ones have to have white skin, straight black long hair, and tall. I always wished that I was different and tried to change myself to be somebody else.
Growing up, I realized that being confident in my own skin will make me look beautiful anyway. And working in the inside is actually something that I can control while physical is something we were born with. There is nothing more attractive than a confident and kind-warm-hearted person. The moment I surrender and actually feel no longer different but unique/special than other people, it is when I attract other people more. When you accept yourself, you will find peace in life.
Be grateful and always look at the positive
Each day I feel the benefit more and more by praising gratitude. When I was young, I easily got upset and questioned my self-worth just by simple things. Instead of focusing in the negativity and asking what was wrong with me, I’d tell my younger self to not to be self-centered. See the surrounding, open the eyes and be grateful of what you have. Not so many people have the privileges like you. Even being able to breath is a privilege. Every negative mind is a waste of living time. Gratitude makes you happier and it only attracts more and more things to be grateful for. I wish I had started writing down my gratitude journal since I was at school.
Everyday is a good day and validating yourself is also very essentials in order to have a positive mind. I always believe, what we want we will become. By affirming my very self, the brain will work along to achieve it.
Do not get attached to someone/something
I was a kind of girl who would jump from one relationship to another. If I could turn back the time, I would not change it differently. But I wish I had known better that those relationships were wasting my precious time. I guess it’s because I like the feeling to be ‘settled’ and that is really dangerous. That did not make me grow, period. I only wanted to spend times with my exes than doing something worthwhile for my own development. With each of my exes, I thought they would be the one that I invested so many things in them. In fact, I do think it’s much more important to keep up with yourself, to live life and collect as many networks as possible.
The attachment feeling urged me to put other people’s priority on top of me because I was afraid of losing them. Well, now I know that’s better than losing myself.
For the note of the something, we all live in materialistic way nowadays. Yet, the dependency to other things do not bring any goods to us. It gives you worry and the sense of not enough.
Be conscious of who you spend the time with
You are the average 5 people that you spend most of your time with. Make sure you are surrounded by people who lift you up, not bring you down. It certainly was difficult when I was teenager because I did not have any self secure. I kept on trying to have self-actualization from the external and that includes hang out with people I did not enjoy hanging out with. I did not know who I was and what kind of person I wanted to be like, but one thing for sure, you would feel it when you hang out with the right person.
You should not keep friends forever, it’s okay to eliminate them because you also grow as a person. That might sound selfish, but you have to be selfish for yourself. You only live half a second after all.
Never settle down
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King Jr
And that is enough said.
Be independent and love yourself
All the above points have one simple result – A happier life. All those are manifestation of loving your self..